


Give Up

by inferablefiend



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M, Giving Up, Kissing, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 08:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8321482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inferablefiend/pseuds/inferablefiend
Summary: Shepard goes to see Thane in the hospital. Only it doesn't go well.





	

I put my hair up. I tugged at the ponytail, letting it fall. My hands painfully pulled it into a messy bun. 

My reflection said nothing to me. It only showed black bags and wrinkles gathered in the corner of my eyes. My fingers latched onto my collar. Yellow coloring formed a fist like bruise above my right breast. 

It sat there like a corsage. A painful reminder that yes, I was still alive. 

I considered taking care in my appearance. My clothes hung off my slightly too small frame from lack of eating. The Reaper war affected me far more than I let on. 

“Commander,” EDI’s cold voice came over my intercom. “We have docked with the Citadel.”

I pulled at the bottom of my tank top. It slid into place, covering the yellow flower. Nodding at my reflection, I left my cabin.

*

The silvery insides of the elevator seemed too clean to carry my dirty reflection with it. I pulled at my clothes, trying to find a mid-point where it hung on my body. If I pulled down, it was too obvious the shirt was huge on me. If I pulled up, pieces of stomach and my hip bones, clearly sticking out, showed. I pulled the N7 sweater tighter around me. 

“You have arrived at Huerta Memorial Hospital.” Its doors slid open noiselessly.

There he stood with his hands behind his back. A lone figure against the outline of the Citadel.

Too many memories played against my mind’s eye. Doors began to slide closed. I stepped forward, stopping it with a hand. No one noticed me. Not yet.

It gnawed at me. Building a home in my rib cage, pushing my heart over for room. This one little message he sent me. There was no leaving it behind, this little piece of me. Thane asked for me to search for him. This was truly indicative of how he felt.

Each word that passed his lips that spoke of death, my heart skipped a beat. Each vowel that spoke of me leaving him because of his disease just broke me. There were too many nights I spent in my quarters curled up in a ball crying my eyes out.

Too many damn nights.

I stayed where I was, taking in the scene. My eyes followed the outline of him shoulders, following the curve of his body. Part of me wanted to just grab his hand and get out of there. Leave before he could say anything.

The other part, my more rational side, knew this was impossible.

It didn’t stop me from dreaming.

I stepped towards him. My footsteps must’ve alerted him. He turn, his face beaming when he saw it was me.

“Si-” The rest of his word was lost in a kiss. 

It tasted of tears. My hands pressed into his jacket, not fully believing he was real. Not fully believing he was in front of me. Thane’s hands travelled up into my hair, simply undoing the bun I put it in earlier. One slipped up to the back of my head while the other slid to rest of my hip.

I pulled away, breathless. “I-I can’t watch you go,” I murmured, putting my forehead to his. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Thane answered back.

My only reply was a sharp inhale. It didn’t matter how I felt. It didn’t matter what I said to him. The hole where my heart once was got slightly bigger. It began to swallow me from the inside.

A massive black hole consuming me. I retreated from him, a glare set in my eyes. “Siha…”

“Don’t you siha me. You are going somewhere. It’s no point in pretending your not staying with me. It’s no use of pretending…” My words died down. I had nothing left in me to give to him. Nothing left to leave.

“Just… Stop pretending!” I was yelling. I was close to breaking the window to my left. A salarian doctor came to us, a stoic look on his face.

“I’m gonna have to ask you to leave,” he said, pointing to the clean elevators. 

Digging my fingernails into my palms, I turned to leave. He didn’t stop me. Thane didn’t call my name or apologize. The last time I saw him was between two closing doors, his black eyes once again unreadable.


End file.
